(Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no more)

Have you ever wondered why we attribute love, grace, and harmony to a planet that is described as inhospitable, corrosive, harsh, and unwelcoming? I think an important factor when considering Venus in the chart is to remember that her love is CONDITIONAL, and conditional love can feel harsh and corrosive to someone wanting or needing more.

Let’s explore how Venus connects to love. What is love, anyway? Most people would describe love as a feeling. It’s an interesting concept, sure I *feel* love but romantic love is not associated with any of the watery signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces). Instead, Venus is associated with Taurus (earth) and Libra (air). What’s up with that? Earth and air relate through structure and discernment, not pure emotion. Taurus assesses tangible value and asks “is this stable, pleasurable, and beautiful?” While Libra assesses social and intellectual value, asking “is this fair, harmonious, and mutually respectful?” Both are processes of evaluation. 

 If we look at love through Venus’ eyes we can come to understand that it is derived from worth and value. What does that mean? It means the type of ‘love’ that Venus is representative of is limited and conditional. Our own sense of self-worth is often shaped by our conditioning: the external forces, our environment, and the people in it. For example, when someone we love fails to meet the conditions of our Venus, it can feel invalidating, corroding our self-worth much like the harsh, unwelcoming surface of the planet itself.

Everyone’s Venus is conditioned by house and sign, as well as the planets that aspect it. My Venus placement and its conditions will not be hospitable for everyone, just as conditions on planet Venus aren’t hospitable for all life forms. If something or someone meets these conditions they may be valued more highly than things that don’t. The more value someone puts into something, the higher the chance of loving it, conditionally.

Let’s examine this concept within a relationship. You might be happy in love one day but if you start to feel your partner is disrespecting you, you’ll notice the value you’ve placed in this relationship begin to erode. You’ll value the person and the interactions with them less and less, and eventually cut them out of your life. The love you initially felt, conditional in its Venusian ways, can’t survive in an environment where its fundamental terms are violated.

In a birth chart, we can see how someone’s natal Venus is conditioned by house and sign as well as any aspects to Venus. Someone with Venus in Capricorn may value traditional roles in their relationships while someone with Venus in Scorpio might feel more at home in more intense, intimate partnerships. When you understand the specific conditions of your Venus, you’ll have a better understanding of what can survive and thrive in those conditions, and just as importantly, what behaviors and patterns will lead to disappointment and heartbreak. This knowledge is power. It grants you clarity before entering new situations, and the confidence to build healthy bonds with people whose conditions harmonize with your own.